Embarking on the journey of parenthood brings many moments of joy, laughter, challenges, and sometimes the difficult task of toilet training.
Toilet training is a significant stage in every child’s development, as it marks the move from nappies to greater independence. While the process can be a source of stress and anxiety for many parents, understanding when to start, the skills required, and the best approach can turn the experience into a calm and positive one for both you and your child.
In this comprehensive guide, we’ll share practical tips and strategies to help your child transition from nappies to the toilet with confidence and make the toilet training process smoother and more successful.
When should you start toilet training with your child?
There is no specific age when you should start toilet training. It is best to wait until your child shows signs that they are ready.
Most experts generally agree that the average age range when children show readiness for toilet training is between 18 and 24 months. However, some may be ready as early as 16 months, while others may be ready as late as their third birthday. But do not rush your child's toilet training; it tends to be smoother if you wait for the signs that they are ready.
A consistently dry diaper over several hours is another clear signal that your child’s body is developing in the right way. Simply put, it means they are getting closer to being ready for early toilet training.
How will your child show they are ready for toilet training?
Kids generally have their special way of letting you know what is on their mind. From a slight frown at a wet nappy to pulling themselves toward the potty, these signals show what they are thinking and feeling about potty training.
Your child may be ready to start using the toilet when they:
- know they are about to go to the toilet
- can tell you when they have wet or soiled their nappy
- stay dry for at least 2 hours or wake up dry after a daytime nap
- get upset about wearing a nappy, especially if it is wet or dirty
- go to the toilet at predictable times of the day
- show interest in what others are doing at the toilet
It is also crucial for toilet training that your child can:
- pull their clothes up and down
- follow simple instructions
- sit comfortably in one position for a short time
Do you start with the potty or the toilet?
This is up to you and your child. Some parents find that introducing a potty is a gentler way to start, as it can be easier for your child to use and take with you when you go out.
If emptying a potty doesn’t appeal to you, it is okay for your child to use a toilet. However, you need to make sure they can climb onto the toilet easily with a step or stool, and rest their feet on the step while sitting. Using a toddler toilet seat with a smaller opening can also make your child feel more secure.
How do you toilet train your child?
Getting started
- Allow your child to watch you go to the toilet, if you feel comfortable about it, so they can see what is involved.
- Teach your child the words they need to say, such as ‘wee’ and ‘poo’, or any other words you are comfortable with.
- Dress them in clothes that are easy to take off and easy to wash.
- Buy your child plenty of underpants. You might also choose to use absorbent training pants.
- If you can, stay at home for the first few days of toilet training.
- Put away anything dangerous that may be in the bathroom, such as cleaning products.
- Continue using nappies for day naps and at night until your child wakes up dry regularly.
Taking your child to the toilet
- Sit your child on the toilet or potty for 2 or 3 minutes at a time, while they’re getting used to it.
- First, take them to the toilet 20 to 30 minutes after meals, before and after sleep and at regular times during the day. Every 2 hours should be enough. And, if they usually poo at a certain time of day, put them on the toilet then, while being on the lookout for signs they may need to go.
- Once your child is used to going to the toilet, you can ask them if they need to go.
- Be patient and kind while your child is learning. Praise their efforts, even if they just sit on the toilet. If they go, consider it a success.
- Help your child wipe their bottom, as this takes time to learn.
- Show your child how to flush the toilet. This can be scary for some children. Let them see what happens when you flush. But if they are scared, it might be easier to use a potty at first.
- Very importantly, teach your child to wash their hands after every visit to the toilet or potty.
Are there any differences between toilet training males and females?
If you have a male child, you can teach them to either sit or stand when going to the toilet. You may find it much easier to start them off sitting for both weeing and pooing and then switch to standing for weeing.
Don’t expect their aim to be perfect at first. Some parents place a ping-pong ball in the water to help with aim. Teach them to shake their penisafter urinating to remove any drops from the toilet. And, if you have a female child, teach them to wipe from front to back. This prevents bacteria from their bottom from causing infections.
What should you do if toilet training isn’t working?
You need to be patient. For some children, toilet training is a simple and fast process; for others, it takes a few weeks. Also, males tend to be slower than females to become toilet-trained, but this is not always the case.
Fears, accidents and wet and dirty pants are expected while toilet training. Don’t make a big fuss about cleaning up the mess, as it will make your child feel more anxious about toilet training, which can make it difficult. It can also be normal for your child to regress and have accidents if they are going through a big change or if they are feeling sick.
These are a few things to avoid when trying to toilet train your child:
- Don’t feel pressured or push your child to be toilet-trained by a certain time.
- Don’t punish them if they can’t understand your instructions or have an accident.
- Do not let your child become constipated, which can cause pain when pooing. Give them plenty of water to drink and add fresh fruits and vegetables to their diet. If constipation is a problem, see your child’s paediatrician. And try not to make your child wait if they are showing signs they need to go to the toilet, as they are not able to ‘hold on’.
If your child shows no interest or isn’t progressing with their toilet training after about 4 weeks, wait until they are a bit older to try again. And, if your child isn’t toilet-trained during the day by age 4, talk to your doctor.
How should you manage toilet training if your child goes to childcare?
It is important to speak to the staff at your childcare centre about how you are managing toilet training at home, as this helps make toilet training consistent between home and childcare. It might also help to show your child where the toilet is at childcare and explain how it may be different to the one at home.
Let the staff know if there are any words or signs your child usually gives when they want to use the toilet. And, it is always a good idea to pack extra nappies, underpants and clothes for them in case of accidents.
Give It Time, It’s a Process
Toilet training is not a race. Every child will progress at their own pace, and it is crucial to give them the time and space to learn. Some children may take days, weeks, or even months to fully grasp the concept, and that is perfectly okay. The keyword is patience, consistency, and providing lots of support along the way.
Toilet training is a big step towards independence. Celebrate small wins, embrace setbacks as learning opportunities, and support your child through the process. Every child’s journey is different, so trust their pace and your instincts. With the right approach, consistency, and encouragement, your child will get there in their own time!
Dr. Favvy
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Disclaimer
The information on this blog is just for educational purposes only.
It should not be used as a replacement for the medical care and advise of your child’s pediatrician.
Always consult your pharmacist before giving your child any drug.
Citation Sources
https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/toilet-training
https://www.pregnancybirthbaby.org.au/toilet-training
https://thelittleco.com.au/toilet-training-tips
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