As a parent, you are the one to shape and influence your children’s behaviors and attitudes, as they are constantly learning new things as they grow up. And, while learning and exploring, they may encounter certain situations in their lives where you might have to step in and help them out. Yet in all this, you may feel like losing your cool or control, but this is totally normal.
Are you presently struggling to deal effectively with your children? Are you constantly at odds with them? Do you wish there was a magic formula for getting them to listen to you? Don’t worry, you’re not alone!! Ask any parent about parenting, they’ll say, ‘It’s not a piece of cake!’ While that’s true, it is not an impossible task either. These scenarios often bring a bunch of parenting challenges that need attention.
Let’s look at some of the common parenting issues faced by parents when dealing with children and then explore some effective ways of dealing with these difficulties and overcoming them.
Common Parenting Concerns
Being a parent is both rewarding and tough, and attached to it are certain parenting concerns. These concerns cover all the different issues and worries you might have as a parent while raising your kids. They can pop up at any time as children grow, and they can be affected by many things. But remember that every family is different, and what one family deals with is likely not to be the same for another.
So, what are these common parenting concerns?
1. Lack of Patience
It is natural to lose patience when dealing with your children. Some parents tend to solve problems by shouting or hitting their children as they lack the patience to sit and understand the root cause of their child’s unacceptable behavior. Though, it may be tough to be patient, especially when you try to handle it patiently several times, and it doesn’t reciprocate the necessary changes in the child, losing patience is going to make things even more difficult. Know that shouting is just a temporary solution, as it acts as a negative reinforcement that might stop your child from misbehaving temporarily but doesn’t teach the child an alternative and appropriate behavior. So, dig deeper to know the root cause of your child’s behavior and address it firmly.
2. Your Child’s Eating Habits and Behaviors
Children’s picky eating habits are one of the most common parenting concerns faced by parents. Some children are more particular about their food choices than others. They will do anything to eat things they like, while others do not eat proper meals at the right time and in quantity. They will refrain from eating healthy foods and often opt for junk foods. And even after trying to make them eat healthy food, they will be stubborn and not listen.
In such scenarios, do not force your child. Try talking to your child about the repercussions of continued consumption of junk foods, like obesity and certain health issues. Let your child be involved in various activities in the kitchen and show him how a nutritious meal is prepared. And, instead of just talking, be a role model and eat healthy foods with them
3. Constant Sibling Fights
Sibling fights and arguments are something every parent usually takes for granted. But when these fights turn physical and get out of control, that is where the problem begins. This can be worrisome for parents which needs to be dealt with. Moreover, constant fights can cause a lot of trouble and ruin the atmosphere of the house, and these could be because of unequal attention, family dynamics, aggression, etc.
Be quick to intervene in the early stages to resolve the situation calmly and talk to them about how they could do the same as well. Let your initial response be to calm the kids down and not blame either one for anything. You can also enforce a rule where any argument would end up as a penalty for both kids equally.
4. Excessive Screen Time Exposure
Screen time exposure has become one of the most concerning issues in recent times. The use of mobile phones, tablets, and laptops has increased, but what makes it more worrisome is not only usage but also the behavior and tantrums that accompany it. Children perceive digital devices in a different way. They are always in need of it, be it when eating or going out and they stay hooked for long hours. It is becoming more difficult for parents to reduce their children's excessive screen time exposure. And, in order to avoid tantrums, they are provided with these devices. Recent research shows that 40% of children below the age of 12 years spent more than four hours of screen time. This is worrisome and alarming.
In reality, it is parents who introduce their children to the digital world, and so, it becomes your job as parents to introduce your children to other activities that provide them with the same excitement that these devices do. Outdoor activities and board games can be a great alternative where you can participate as well. Try enforcing specific playing times or hours when your child can use their devices.
5. Discipline and Punctuality
Teaching your children to be punctual and disciplined may be quite difficult. But you have to teach them how to be punctual, keep their toys inside after playing, and how to speak respectfully to others. Instilling discipline in your children is a tough task but can be overcome by patiently dealing with them.
6. Academic procrastination
Every parent has had to struggle with their child procrastinating on completing their academic work studying for an upcoming exam or simply reading what has been taught. Most of the time, this is met with scolding the child or forcing him to study.
Some children try to escape their schoolwork by going out to play demanding things to complete their work or asking to use mobile phones for some time, promising to do their homework after they get it. These are all reasons to procrastinate.
You can try to talk to your child about what he liked in school and inculcate a sense of curiosity and interest in that subject. If he is weak or unfocused in a particular subject, talk to him about how the knowledge obtained can be applied with real-life examples. And, when it comes to studying, implementing a set routine and following it consistently works like magic. You can try using extrinsic motivation like rewards in the form of ice cream or their favorite food to encourage them to study harder. However, this should not be the only way of motivating them to study.
7. Bedtime problems
Adhering to sleep schedules can be quite challenging for some children. They might not sleep early at night, and some will demand to play games on their phones before sleeping. Ensure that sleeping routine habits like changing clothes, brushing teeth, and washing up before sleeping are strictly adhered to.
8. Family Dynamics
Living with a joint family or with grandparents tends to be challenging sometimes. Grandparents or extended family members can either positively or negatively impact your children. It can be challenging when grandparents or other members intervene with your decisions and try to protect your child, allowing them to do the things that they like. This creates a wrong impression in your child that you are not a good parent as you do not let them do anything.
9. Lying
It is common for children to lie at one time or the other. You may even be aware that your child is lying but you don’t call him out on that. This can result in him continuing to lie and developing it into a habit. And, if left unchecked, this could manifest in your child hiding important things from you as well and in the long run, becoming deceitful, which could have a severe impact on your child.
Immediately engage your child when he lies. Let him know that you are aware of the lie and talk to him about why it isn’t good. Ask him to not be afraid of you while telling the truth, even if it might be where he may have committed a mistake.
10. Constant Whining, Complaining, and Throwing Tantrums
Nearly all children whine and complain to their parents, even for the smallest things. A small incident that happened in school while playing with his friends or even at home might trigger him to complain and whine about it throughout the day.
Tantrums, on the other hand, are quite different from whining or complaining. When your child throws a tantrum, he will just start crying without conveying the reason behind it. He won't calm down or listen to you and just create absolute chaos.
When dealing with your child’s complaints and whines, It is important to know that the real reason behind the complaining and whining is that your child wants to know whether you are paying attention to him. It is best to talk with him and offer a solution quickly. Gradually, teach him how to communicate his issues the right way instead of whining all the time. Educate him on how he can resolve certain problems on his own or together by communicating nicely what is stressing him and what he wants out of it.
But for tantrums, know that this is majorly a power dynamic at play and it is important to not lose your cool. Let your child know you are ready to listen to him once he stops crying. Until then, continue with what you are doing. Once he sees that his tantrum does not affect you, he will stop and talk to you about what he wants.
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Some of the Effective Ways to Deal with Common Parenting Concerns
Some of the ways to effectively deal with such concerns are as follows:
1) Have a Flexible parenting style:
Understand that being flexible doesn’t mean allowing your child to do whatever they want. Instead, It means allowing them space to do their own thing while making them understand their undesirable behaviors. You make them understand the difference between wrong and right behaviors and then give them space to introspect. This type of parenting style leads to better results than simply shouting.
2) Create boundaries:
As a parent, you need to establish certain rules when it comes to your children. They will learn to follow them when these boundaries are made clear to them, but also remember that means you also need to follow them.
3) Encourage Open Communication:
You need to be there to listen to your child’s problems. You should encourage your children to speak out about their concerns, feelings, and needs, do not shut them up. Create a safe and open environment for your child to express his or her difficulties and not judge or mock them.
4) Create a daily routine checklist:
You can motivate your children to follow daily routines like brushing their teeth, bathing, cleaning their room, packing school bags, completing homework, etc. by keeping a checklist and encouraging them to follow it. At the initial stage, you can reward them for each task completed, and then at the end of the week, reward them when they have managed to follow every task for seven days.
5) Acknowledge failures:
Instead of scolding your children for failing, first, listen to them on how they feel about it, and then talk about how they can improve by learning from their mistakes. When you appreciate their efforts and acknowledge that it is okay to fail in life, this can change their perspective of failures in life.
6) Do not forget to get your alone time:
This is as important as anything else. You need your alone time for your mental peace. You and your partner must get some personal time to help your relationship grow stronger. However, your children are your responsibility, but you need to take care of yourself too to take care of them. This doesn’t mean you’re selfish or not a good parent. Remember, that you are a human being first before being a parent!!!
Dr. Favvy
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Disclaimer
The information on this blog is just for educational purposes only.
It should not be used as a replacement for the medical care and advise of your child’s pediatrician.
Always consult your pharmacist before giving your child any drug.
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